5 Small Shifts That Might Help You Feel More Like Yourself
What I’m practicing to move through life with more ease and less overthinking
We’re all shaped by our upbringing. I know that’s a loaded statement, but… It’s true.
I was raised to be strong, private, and careful. I didn’t speak unless I was sure my words would land as wise. I had to be self-sufficient. And rest? That had to be earned.
So I grew up guarded. Strong. Private. I shared things on a need-to-know basis. I ached in silence after heartbreaks. I didn’t ask for help.
These ways of being kept me safe for a long time, but they also made my movement through life feel restricted, measured.
In this season of life, I’m choosing to stretch gently beyond them. My children are still very young, too young to understand this in words, but I know they’ll sense it. These are my baby steps. Maybe they’ll help you take yours, too.
Leaning Into Discomfort
Doing one uncomfortable thing a day - even something small. Signing up for the dance class I’ve penciled in. Reaching out to the daycare mom I say “hi” to, but haven’t gotten to know. Going to a poetry reading at the local library. Micro-moments of courage, on repeat. I want to remove the imaginary lines that make my world feel more contained. Fear of discomfort convinces us we can’t try new things, connect, explore, begin - when really, we often can.
Showing Up Without Applause
As a child and a teenager, the expectation to ace my way through everything - school, hobbies, relationships - quickly became a need. A need to be seen as excellent. To earn gold stars, recognition, proof that I was doing it “right.”
These days, I’m learning to show up without needing a round of applause. I’m putting myself out there like no one’s watching - and finding some relief in the fact that they mostly aren’t. Whether it’s joining a new group or speaking up in a public setting, I’m learning to risk being seen - even when I’m not polished or perfectly prepared.
Committing Without Drama
Showing up to train four times a week - and not just my body. I’m rebuilding a sense of commitment that doesn’t rely on motivation or bursts of inspiration. The kind that holds steady through tired days, messy mornings, and the inevitable curveballs of daily life.
I do the thing, not because it’s glamorous, but because it’s mine. And because I said I would.
Rewriting the Parenting Script
Not apologizing for my toddler being… a toddler. He doesn’t always want to share. He gets loud. And that’s okay. I’m unlearning the urge to smooth over his edges to make others more comfortable.
In allowing him to be loud, messy, and imperfect - without trying to make him more palatable for others - I’m quietly rewriting old scripts. I’m offering him, and myself, the kind of freedom and protection I wish I’d had. Parenting through awareness is also a form of reparenting myself.
Resting Without Guilt
I saw a line online that stopped me: “Luxury is being able to rest without guilt.” I hadn’t realized how much that applied to me. Sure, I have “valid” reasons to need rest - two little kids, sleep that comes in unpredictable doses. But that’s not the point. Rest shouldn’t need justification. The ability to lie down without guilt isn’t earned. It’s a mindset shift.
Letting myself rest without proving I deserve it. Taking the opportunity to nap when it presents itself, with joy, not guilt. Your day doesn’t lose momentum. It finds rhythm.
Final thoughts
None of these practices are loud. They're more of an embrace, an encouragement.
They’re small recalibrations - ways to return to myself more honestly, to move through life with more ease.
If you’ve ever felt shaped by perfectionism, pressure, or old expectations, maybe these practices will help you return to yourself, too.
If they do - or if you’re practicing something else entirely - I’d love to hear.